Cool-Headed Hazuki
by Unicornblossem13
Summary: Hazuki is the first adviser to Great King Enma. She is smart, a cool beauty, and a super sadist. The story revolves around the daily life of Hazuki and her people. Pairing: FemHoozukixHakutaku. Romance will come later on.
1. Making or Breaking Hell

**Hello. I have come to like the anime and manga Hoozuki no Reitetsu and wanted to do a story on it. This is basically a revision of the anime with Hoozuki as a woman. There will be some romantic parts with her and Hakutaku. I hope you all in enjoy. P.S. There will probably some OCness. Disclaimer: I own nothing. Oh, and this story was made with the help of the amazing KarouUchiha.**

* * *

 _Episode One: Making or Breaking Hell_

* * *

 _Heaven and Hell exist in the afterlife. Hell is split into 'The Eight Greater Hells' and 'The Eight Cold Hells' and these are further divided into 272 specific subdivisions. Postwar rapid population growth and evil spirits turned vicious have placed the afterlife in unprecedented turmoil. Just as it is in this life and the afterlife, every government needs a calm troubleshooter. However, shadow heroes of this caliber are far more rare than mere charismatic figures._

* * *

"Great King Enma! Avici Hell is flooding the river!"

"Sir, you have a transfer request from Heaven!"

"The Hell of Black Cords is in economic collapse!"

"Well, first off, Avici is an ordinance-designated Hell." the great king said, trying to handle one issue as best as he could while being told two more at the same time. "They can deal with that. Next off, Heaven is not my problem! Go consult Hazuki-chan."

"Now that you mention it, where is Hazuki-sama?" Karauri asked, looking around the office.

"She's out doing inspections." Enma replied. "It's so busy, she's being pulled in all directions at once."

* * *

 _Meanwhile_

"All normal at Mount Pincushion." an oni woman remarked.

She was of average height and slender. Her black hair was very short and parted in the middle, a horn sticking out of her forehead. Her ears were large and pointed while the fangs she had slightly pointed out of her mouth. At the corner of her grey, slanted eyes were red markings.

She was wearing a black yukata, with red lining, that hugged her figure and showed off her curves. She had a red obi tied around her waist with a Chinese lantern embroidered on the back of her yukata. In her hand was a large, toothed metal club.

"How is the Animal Torcher Hell?" the beautiful oni asked.

"They are currently understaffed." the male demon who was with her replied.

"Hazuki-sama!"

"What is it, Karauri-san?" the female oni asked as the shorter demon ran up to her.

"Heaven's Shangri-La is requesting more manpower." he informed as he handed her a clipboard.

"Hey, I'm in mid-consultation." the other male demon said.

Karauri chuckled sheepishly while rubbing the back of his head.

"We cannot be expected to look after Heaven's affairs." Hazuki stated. "Let me guess. Did that moron pass on that particular burden to me to deal with?"

"Did you just causally call Enma-sama a moron?"

The female oni ignored the question.

"Shangri-La, huh? They have a lot of nerve asking for their lack of sinners. Leisurely, enjoyment, relaxation. It's fun to get away. Three days stay in a hotel."

The two male demons blinked.

"Every little thing ends up on my desk." Hazuki said to herself.

* * *

 _Meanwhile_

"Like I said! I want you to bring out your toughest guy!"

"I can't do that, you have to take it up with the receptionist."

"Argh! Is that all you can say, you rule-thumping jailer?!"

"Hey, is Hazuki-sama here right now?" a male demon asked Nasubi.

"Yes, I think she's here for inspection." the white haired demon replied.

"Can you go and get her to come here? We can't handle this by ourselves."

* * *

 _Meanwhile_

"They want to borrow manpower for the peach farm?" Hazuki questioned as she read from the clipboard. "They don't need more peach trees." she slapped the back of her hand against it. "Furthermore, I am against Heaven's policy of mass-production for Chinese peach trees to secure wonder drugs. A surplus of cure-alls inevitably leads to corruption."

"But Shangri-La is the biggest tourist trap in Heaven, so the scenery needs to be kept up." Karauri told her.

"Hmm, that is true." the female oni said as she handed the clipboard back to him. "It would require maintenance."

"Even help gathering firewood would be appreciated."

"Hazuki-sama!"

"Yes, Nasubi-san? Hazuki questioned as the white haired demon ran over to them.

"Someone named Peach Boy has come!"

"A boy with peaches has come? Tell him we don't want any and send him away."

"Uh, he isn't here with gifts for the Bon Festival."

Nasubi went behind her and pushed her forward. "Please come with me."

"Hey, Nasubi, that's not fair!" Karauri shouted as his friend pushed the female oni away.

"I was first." the other male demon complained.

* * *

"When you say Momotaro, you mean _that_ Momotaro?" Hazuki questioned as the shorter demon lead her in the direction of this 'Peach Boy'.

"Yes, ma'am." Nasubi replied.

Then she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.

"When did you introduce the Iron Maiden?" she asked as she stopped walking. "Where did the budget come from?"

"Enma-sama said it was okay." the white haired demon told her.

Upon hearing that, Hazuki was immediately in a bad mood. She clicked her tongue and her eyebrows furrowed angrily, a dark aura surrounding her.

"Hazuki-sama!" a male demon came over and hit Nasubi over the head. "Mind what you say!" he bowed to the female oni. "I'm so sorry to call you out here when you're so busy." he apologized.

"I see, special treatment! I bet she's your superior!"

The three turned to the source of the voice.

"All right, let's go this fair and square! Now fight me!" the young man, who was dressed old-fashionedly, yelled, as he pointed his katana at them.

Everyone stood in silence.

"Where did this problem come from?" Hazuki asked/whispered.

"He's that Momotaro fellow." the male demon whispered back.

"Stop whispering!" Momotaro ordered.

"He showed up out of nowhere started going gangbusters on us."

"That's odd." Hazuki remarked. "He looks more, er, old fashioned and refined than I expected."

"What are you trying to say?!" the swordsman yelled.

"Having rid your land of evil ogres in your former life, I can appreciate the pride you must feel." she said. "But haven't you lost sight of your cause?"

"No, I am still working on my cause. I am who I am because I fight ogres. Right, partners?" he turned to the small, white dog, monkey, and pheasant that was with him.

"I'm in it for the millet dumplings." Shiro said.

"But nowadays there are far more delicious things than millet dumplings." Kakisuke remarked.

"My employment status hasn't changed since the Muromachi Era, so I'm seriously considering a change of profession." Lurio stated.

"I'm not the only one?" the white dog questioned.

"You'd think mystical beasts with spiritual powers would be hard to come by." the monkey thought aloud.

"He's always ridiculously enthused whether we are or not." the pheasant remarked.

"You're assistants to a hero!" Momotaro yelled. "What else do you need to do?!"

"In other words, you are that one guy in the company who burns with team spirit." Hazuki commented. "The annoying coworker."

"Don't coldly analyze me, you oni!"

"I am an oni."

"Hazuki-sama, can you do anything with him? He's delicately set in his ways." the male demon said.

"Don't call me delicate!" Momotaro shouted. He then pointed at the female oni. "I want you to fight me." he said. "Or are you afraid?"

She stared at him impassively.

"Hey, that's rude!"

"I'll have you know that Hazuki-sama is a very important person!" Nasubi stated.

"Oh yeah? How important?" the swordsman questioned while Shiro yawned.

"She's the first adviser to Great King Enma. She's the top-ranking demon!"

"My role isn't all that important." Hazuki said, waving her hand dismissively. "I'm more like the Chief Secretary. It's just a day job."

Momotaro shouted in annoyance.

"Of course you are." she said to him. "Because unlike the riffraff of Ogre Island, we actually work our fingers to the bone. You have no reason to fight us. In fact, you're nothing more than an unemployed drifter now."

"Who do you think you are?!" the swordsman exclaimed. "My mother, I mean, my grandmother?!" he then started to stomp around angrily. "Know my wrath at your peril!"

"Even your anger is old-fashioned." Shiro remarked.

"Well, he is from the Muromachi Era." Lurio said.

"Want me to rain down my fist on you?!" Momotaro yelled, holding up one of his fist.

Hazuki then lifted up her metal club. "Oh, if a rain of fists will satisfy you, then I'll be more than happy to get it over with." she said, smacking the club into her hand casually.

"No, violence is never the answer." the black haired boy retorted, holding up his hands.

The female oni swung her club back, destroying a part of a rock that was next to her.

"This is Hell, we solve our problems with violence." she stated.

Momotaru was scared of this woman.

'How can such a beautiful woman be so evil?' he mentally questioned.

He soon got into a huddle with his animal companions.

"Y-You guys should go and test her first..." he told them.

"What? No way." Shiro said.

"Why not?"

"You go first." Lurio told him.

"No fair."

"It seems they are having a disagreement." Hazuki observed.

"Oh, looks like they're sending out the dog." Nasubi remarked when the white dog came out.

"Uh, I'm not sure about this." Shiro said.

"Shiro, just try provoking her!" Momotaro called form behind a boulder with the others.

"What? Well, um..." the canine faced the female oni. "You have slit eyes like a turtle!"

"Soft Bank is your father!" Hazuki shot back.

"The one phrase the hurts me the most." the white dog said as he fell to the ground, defeated. "But I wish I could adopt Aya Ueto."

"Adopt her? She's already been married off."

That broke Shiro even more.

"Shiro is down!" Momotaro cried.

"Damn, that woman is too mean." Kakisuki said.

"I will avenge you, Shiro, the underdog." Lurio vowed.

"Don't call me that." the defeated canine said.

Then the brown monkey came out.

"Team Brain: Kakisuke!"

"Kakisuke?" Hauzuki was reading from a book she pulled from her cleavage. "Ah, yes, the persimmon monkey. Weren't you sued by the crab family six hundred years ago on the charges of grievous bodily harm?" she looked at the monkey in a scary way and her eyes seemed to glow. "Did you ever apologize?"

The money was down for the count.

"Please... please forgive me past wrong doings." he begged, covering his face with his hands.

"Kaikisuke?! Damn you!" Lurio flew in the air. "Rocket Launcher: Lurio the Pheasant!"

"You are a much larger bird than I thought you would be." the female oni remarked. "But aside from that, I don't think much of you."

Lurio soon fell to the ground.

"Pheasants sucks."

"Comrades!" Momotaro went over to the fallen animals and picked up the bird.

"Momotaru, ogres are just too powerful." Lurio told him.

"We're better off not messing with them." Shiro said.

The swordsman dropped the pheasant.

"Ow."

He then looked at the female oni.

"You damned oni." he cursed as he stood up. "You're heartless through-and-through! It's time for you to sample my skills with the blade!" he held his katana out in front of him.

Hauzki did the same with her club.

They stared each other down for a moment before she used her metal club to break the sword and make a dent in a boulder.

"No!" Momotaro wailed.

"Well, yeah." Kakisuke said.

"One good swing with an iron club will break it all right." Shiro remarked.

"How in the world was this person victorious on Ogre Island?" Hazuki questioned, staring down at the swordsman who had fallen to his knees after his quick lost.

"Well, to be perfectly honest with you, the others were blind drunk at the time." the white dog admitted.

"Don't give that away!" Momotaro yelled.

"Chalk it up to youth, vigor, and beginner's luck." Kakisuke added.

"Hey!"

"Well, yeah, the village people were ecstatic, and we held our heads high, but...He got totally full of himself after that."

Momotaru got up, feeling both humiliated and angry. Then Hazuki came up and slapped him across the face. The others were taken aback from her bold action.

"You lived as a hero, and you go and do this in the afterlife. Don't you have any shame?" the female oni said.

"She's right, Momotaro." Shiro said. "We should quit while we're ahead. Were you so desperate to protect your pride?"

"Momotaro, I know I give you a lot of lip, but the reason why I've stayed with you is because I've become fond of you." Lurio told him.

"Yeah." Kakisuki agreed.

"We can't keep clinging to the past forever." the pheasant said. "'I'm Momotaro, so I need to eliminate oni.', there's something wrong with that thinking."

"Y-You guys..." tears welled up in the swordsman's eyes.

Hazuki went up to the animals.

"Um, excuse me, but would you three like to work in the hell for animal torturers?" she asked.

"Eh? Really?" Shiro questioned..

"The first three months you'll be on contract." the female oni told them. "But, after that, you'll become full time employees."

"Thank you very much, Oni-nee-san!" the white dog said appreciatively.

"Hey!" Momotaru yelled at his animals comrades.

Hazuki petted Shiro on his fluffly, white head.

"Also, if you're interested, there's a job opening I would like you to fill." she told the swordsman.

"Eh?"

* * *

 _In Hell, there are 272 subdivisions. Among these, some are ran by animals._

* * *

"You must learn the blood of what the dead tastes like, newbies!" Yasha Ichi, the scar faced white dog, ordered.

"Yes, Senpai!" Shiro responded as he chewed on the head of a deceased while Kakisuke bit into his arm.

Lurio was pecking the head of another deceased.

"Will this help with the understaffed problem?" Hazuki asked the male demon in front of her as the three animals bit and pecked on sinners.

"Yes, thank you very much, Hazuki-sama."

* * *

 _As for Momotaro..._

* * *

 _In Shangri-La_

"How are you doing?" Hazuki asked Momotaro, petting a rabbit that was in her arms.

"Oh, very well, thank you." the ex. swordsman replied. "I come from a family of woodcutters, so this job suits me well."

"I see. That's good."

* * *

 _He's apparently making a name for himself in Shangri-La._

 **END**

* * *

 **I hope you all liked the first chapter. Sorry if it's too similar to the first episode, but I'll try to make better changes in the second chapter. Please let me know what you think about this chapter in your reviews. And if you have any ideas, please PM me. Until next time.**


	2. The Discovery of Hell's Mysteries

**Alright, here is the second chapter. I hope you all enjoy it. And you can thank KarouUchiha for the making of this Disclaimer: I own nothing at all.**

* * *

 _Episode Two: The Discovery of Hell's Mysteries_

* * *

"To change the feed, or to change the fertilizer, that it the question." Hazuki said to herself as she watched her goldfish plants flop around on their stems.

She held up a bucket with small holes in it by a rod and watered the strange plant or animal.

"There certainly are many new varieties of goldfish plant now." a male demon remarked.

"Yes." Hazuki responded.

"Have you had lunch?"

"No, I'm just too busy."

"What? But you still should at least eat so you don't get sick."

"My lunch break is the only time I can look after them." the female oni said.

"They do look very healthy. Isn't the goldfish plant fancier convention coming up soon? My cousin is so crazy about those that his wife is going mad."

"I'm the same way. I have no time to plan a vacation, so I ended up drowning myself in my hobby."

* * *

 _Later, in the staff's cafeteria_

Hazuki was sitting at a table and watching some mundane television.

"I'm having Coelacanth bowl tonight." Enma said as he sat at the female oni's table.

 _"On tonight's mystery theater, we will be going to the fascinating land of Australia." the host of the show announced._ _"T_ _onight we zoom in on this wonderful animal paradise.'_

"Is this a mundane TV show?" the great king asked.

"Yes. You can watch it on satellite." Hazuki told him. "I like how the presenter makes himself larger than life."

"Say, he reminds me of the strange figure you have in your office. Is that a Crystal Hitoshi?!"

"I won it along with a Mongolian native costume. I wonder what I should do with it."

"That's amazing, yet plain."

 _"From there you can see Mother Earth's Bellybutton, Ayers Rock. The Aborigines call this rock 'Uluru'."_

"It would be nice to go overseas." Enma remarked. "I haven't been on a trip overseas in the last thousand years expect for business. I want to plant a flag at the peak of Ayers Rock, and shout out 'Chicken Rice!'."

Hazuki slammed her club onto the ground.

"Do no such thing!" she yelled at her boss. "Ayers Rock is Mother Earth's Belly Button! You could very well give her a stomachache!"

"You know, you remind me of your mother." he said.

"Treat Earth as you would your stomach." the female oni told him, grinding her club against the side of his face. "Be kind to our planet!"

"Be kind to me!"

"No!"

"Why?!"

 _"Wow, what an awesome view! This is Kangaroo Island. This is a paradise for wildlife, with kolas and wallabys, and platypi."_

"I really would like to visit Australia." Hazuki said, putting her weapon down.

"It is pretty." Enma said. "And it's full of unique nature.

"Yes, and not only that..."

 _"Oh, look up at the tree!" the host yelled excitedly and the screen showed a koala bear falling asleep._

"It's so fluffy and cute. I want to hug it." Hazuki said, placing her hands on her cheeks, admiring the animal's cuteness. "The kola." her eyes shined.

"Why the kola?!" the great king exclaimed. "If anything, I can only picture you taming a Tasmanian devil!"

"How rude!" the female oni looked at him, putting her hands down. "I also have a soft spot for the Tasmanian Devil, but if I had to choose, then I would rather chat with a wallaby."

"For some reason, I suspect your head is filled with fluffy bunny rabbits." he remarked.

"Wallabys are extremely cute, yet upon closer examination, kangaroos are oddly boring." she said. "And the hind claws of a male platypus are poisonous."

"How do you know so much about the animals from Oceana?"

"I enjoy reading books and watching TV shows about animals." Hazuki told him. "And I enjoy reading 'The Animal-Person Caricatures' in real time."

"You mean the national treasure that was serialized by the priests in Kozan-ji?" Enma questioned. "That's right, you frequent the zoos and beaches when you travel to the mundane world on business."

"It's a field study." she said.

"Would you please stop writing those off as business expenses?"

"It is a necessary expense. I recommend Ueno Zoo. They have a deadly amount of pigeons."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Not only that, the distance between the Uneno Zoo's shoebills and I is so wonderful, I love it."

"Those birds remind me of you in some ways..." the great king remarked.

"And the beaches in France are very nice." the female oni said.

"When did you go to France?"

"Quite recently, I won a trip and I went. It was lovely."

"You could have at least brought me a souvenir." Enma said.

"Waste of money." Hazuki replied simply.

 _"Look, a baby wombat."_

"That flat nose..." she turned to the TV screen, her eyes starting to shine when she saw the small mammal.

The great king mentally chuckled.

'Hazuki-chan really does have a cute side that she rarely shows.' he thought. 'I bet she wishes she could be around animals all the time. Wait, pets?'

Realization hit him.

'What would she keep as a pet?!' he mentally exclaimed.

He thought about all of the most dangerous creatures he could think of, such as a lion, viper, dragon, panther, and even a tyrannosaurus rex, and it scared him.

"That simply isn't good, Hazuki-chan!" he shouted. "A pet should always be small!"

"What in the world are you talking about?" the female oni asked. "I already have goldfish."

"Oh, that's right, your goldfish." Enma said. "Are they a plant or animal?"

"I honestly have no idea." Hazuki replied. "They could be both. A type of 'planimal', perhaps. Now that you mention it, my longest living one is over ten feet tall. It's fun. Would you like to see it?"

'She already has pets.' the great king thought. "Ten feet tall, you say?" he said. "I guess that means you'll win the goldfish plant contest again this year."

"I won't be entering the contest." she told him. "I was inducted into the hall of fame and I'm judging this year."

"You sure do have a lot on your hands." he remarked. "How do you judge a competition like that, exactly?"

"You will find the particulars on the Contest Rule form, but other than size, we judge based on their color and pattern, and the vibrancy and clarity of their eyes. And their cries."

"Their cries?"

* * *

 _Flashback, the sixth Annual Goldfish Plant Contest_

"Number Four, it's your turn.

"You can do it, Masako." the male demon said to his goldfish plant.

The fish plant then gave a mighty cry.

"Ogyaa! Ogyaa! Ogyaa! Ogyaa!"

"That was marvelous." the other female judge complimented, holding up a nine.

"It's full of emotion, yet oddly discomforting." Hazuki remarked as she held up a ten. "A splendid combination."

"A good cry." the last judge said, also holding up a ten.

* * *

 _Present Day_

"Is that what you meant by cry?" Enma questioned.

"It is the draw of competition and is one of the required talents." Hazuki explained.

"I had no idea you guys did that. I've known you for a long time now, but you always remain a mystery to me."

"Really? I figured myself out as to be a simple woman."

The great king then thought of something. "You know I couldn't even guess what you'd like in a man."

"What I like in a man?" Hazuki repeated.

She thought about it for a moment.

"I would like someone who is unfazed by bugs and animals." she said.

"Most men don't really care about that sort of thing." Enma told her.

"Those who thoughtlessly torment and abandon animals are heading straight for Animal Torturer Hell." the female oni stated.

"Well, yes, people shouldn't behave that way." the great king agreed.

"I would like a man who can laugh off being strangled by an anaconda. And someone smart would also be acceptable."

"He'd have to be a real heavy weight to be strangled by an anaconda. So where would you like to be taken on a date, anyway?"

"I would like a living man to take me to a cemetery." Hazuki replied. "But I would like a deceased man to take me to Maihama."

"Why would you let a deceased man to take you there instead of a living one?" Enma questioned.

"For the living, it's my thoughtful gesture that they would join me someday." she said.

"You could at least let them enjoy their time on Earth first!" he told her.

"I also like a man is positive and cheerful, but not overly cheerful." the female oni said. "I would also want a man who liked me for my intelligence and not just my looks.

"That's quite a list you got." Enma remarked. "But I don't think anyone would appreciate being called cheerful by you."

"How can you say that? Can you not see how cheerfully and openheartedly I spend my days?" she questioned monotonously with an impassive face, her eyes blank and cold.

"I can't see an ounce of cheer on your face or in your voice. " he responded. "If you're looking to get into a relationship, you could try going out with Hak-" he was cut off when she held her club up at him menacingly.

"You better not mention that bastard's name in front of me." Hazuki threatened as she glared at him.

The great king was now scared.

"S-Sorry!" he quickly apologized.

"Good." the female oni put her club down.

"I don't see why you're so against going out with him."

"Than you obviously don't know his true nature. He's an idiot and a pervert who chases anything that's female."

"I do know that he likes women very much."

"Then why are you asking me stupid questions?"

"I'm sorry, I'll stop now." Enma said when she scowled at him.

Hazuki just huffed and kept watching the TV.

"But I'm happy for you that you can find daily enjoyment in these chaotic and dissatisfying times." the great king remarked.

"If I felt dissatisfied, I would let my feelings out immediately." the female oni told him.

"I see." he said and took a sip of his tea.

"I still wish to go on a trip every now and then."

"Me too. I want to somewhere exciting with a lot of nature and wildlife. Although, I'm sure you can describe Hell that way. But you need to make a plan, buy tickets, reserve a hotel to go on the trip. It's a lot of work. I fully understand why husbands across the country leave it to their wives. But we always end up putting it off."

"Ah." Hazuki suddenly said.

"What is it?" Enma asked.

He looked at the TV and saw the female oni's name, saying she had just won a trip to Australia.

"You won! You won a three day trip to Australia!" Enma shouted.

"Enma-sama, I'm taking paid vacation time!" Hazuki declared, pulling out a notebook and pen. "Even if you try to stop me I will still go!"

"Crystal Hitoshi gets the other ticket, right?! Give me one!

"Forget it! Win your tickets."

"Okay, then take me with you!"

"Never!"

 **The End**

* * *

 **I hope you guys like this chapter. Please let me know what you thought about it in your reviews. Until next time.**


	3. Demons and Underwear and Crabs

**Time for chapter three. I hope you all enjoy it. Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

 _Episode Three: Demons and Underwear and Crabs_

* * *

 _At the River Styx_

Deceased sinners were walking across the long, large bridge while some others were crossing through the blood-red river, naked.

"Well, Stripping Hag-san, I will hold your funds in reverse." Hazuki told the old demon woman sitting next to her, writing on a clipboard while a line of the deceased where waiting to be allowed to pass or get stripped.

"Maybe I should just publish a photo collection." Stripping Hag said. "I'd call it, 'Hot & Bewitching Mature Lady's in Lingerie'. Would you be interested in doing it with me?" she nudged the other female demon with her elbow.

"I'll pass, thank you." Hazuki replied coolly.

"Aw~ but you'd be perfect for it." the old woman declared, looking at her large chest. "I mean, you're stacked really well."

"Don't care. Too busy with my day job." the female oni said.

* * *

 _Meanwhile_

Karauri and Nasubi were sweeping and cleaning up around the River Styx. Expect, instead focusing on sweeping, the white haired demon was singing a type of song.

"The underwear demons wear are the best underwear. You go, girl You go, girl. These underwear we wear are made form tiger skin. You go, girl. You go, girl. The underwear I wear don't wreck my body line. You go, girl. you go, girl. Let's wear, let's wear, green underwear."

He turned to his friend. "Say, Karauri."

"Hmm?"

"Morale is important, right?"

"Morale? Yeah, its important. "But what are you getting at?" Karauri questioned.

"I'm getting at underwear, naturally." Nasubi replied. "Wearing under is what morale is all about, right? That's why I call underwear 'morale'."

"I always have a hard time understanding where you're coming from. Now, listen. You're weren't gifted with regular common sense..."

But the white haired demon wasn't listening. He picked up a wig that had crabs in it.

"Wiggly crabs caught in a wig." he removed the crabs from the wig and then threw it into the river. "Catch & release!"

"Are you listening to me?!" Karauri exclaimed. "You have to learn to focus!"

"Oh, sorry." Nasubi apologized and rubbed the back of his head.

"So, what is this about underwear?"

"What? Oh, its nothing. I just suddenly realized how important underwear really are."

"Stop saying everything that pops in your head! It's confusing!"

"Sorry. the white haired demon apologized again. "Hey, how about the underwear demons wear. Are you a tiger skin kinda guy or just polyester?" he asked, genuinely curious.

Karauri sighed.

"I go with 100% cotton. I have sensitive skin." he replied.

"What kind? Peach Tutu?"

"No, just plain underwear. How come you know so much about mundane brands of ladies intimates? Normal healthy males don't know that kind of stuff. You shouldn't know that!"

"But they did feature them in an article on a magazine." Nasubi told him. "How do you know about it then, Karauri?"

"It's my sister's favorite brand. She always has them home delivered."the dark haired demon said. "C'mon, let's finish cleaning up.'

"Yes, sir."

Then Nasubi started to sing again while he swept.

"Let's all wear, let's all wear, let's all wear the underwear demons wear!"

"Hey, where'd that song come from anyway?" Karauri asked. "I don't get the point."

"Huh? Isn't it the a sales jingle for the maker of demon underwear?" the white haired demon questioned.

"It's not."

"H-Hazuki-sama!" the dark haired demon shouted in surprise when he saw the female oni standing there.

"I've been listening to your interesting little conversation." she told them. "But I would prefer that you do your work without the chatter."

"I'm sorry." Nasubi apologized.

"I'm sorry, ma'am." Karauri also apologized, bowing.

Meanwhile, a sinner in the river was trying to get his hands on a wig when he was tossed into the air by a giant crab.

By the way, Hazuki-sama, what did you mean just now?" the two-horned demon asked, referring to what she said about the song his friend was singing.

"Oh, yes. That particular song was originally a canzone from southern Italy." Hazuki replied. "The Japanese lyrics were written later on. Funiculi Funicula."

"Oh, I know that one."

Nasubi then came over to them. "Funiculi Funicula." he chanted.

"The 'Funiculi Funicula' you speak of are rhythmic shouts." the female oni said. "Apparently is was a promotional song for the Mountain Railway."

"It's disappointing that it's not an original Hell song after all." Karauri commented.

"You sure know a lot, Hazuki-sama." Nasubi complimented. He looked the woman up and down. "Hazuki-sama, I was wondering what kind of underwear do you wear?" he asked.

"You idiot!" the dark haired demon yelled, hitting his friend over the head. "I'm very sorry about him, Hazuki-sama." he apologized to the female oni. "He just says whatever comes into his head without thinking."

"It's fine." Hazuki told him. "And, to answer you question, Nasubi-san.." she looked at the three-horned demon impassively. "I wear regular."

'She actually admitted it!' Karuki mentally shouted. 'And with such a straight a face!'

"Oh, do you mean just black and red ones?" Nasubi asked her. "Because I can see you wearing those."

"Mostly, but I sometimes wear different colors." she replied.

'I-i can't believe what I am hearing...' the two-horned demon thought to himself in disbelief. 'It's like they're having a normal conversation.'

"I think we've talked enough." Hazuki said, clapping her hands. "I want you to do a through cleaning job from here to the Children's Limbo. The River Styx is the border between the mundane and the afterlife. You could call it Hell's front door. It sets a bad example with left untidy."

"The place is littered with fallen watches." Karauri remarked, looking at said watches.

"Hey, a snake!" Nasubi shouted, standing near the river while the other demons had their backs to him."He's the boss of the River Styx, isn't he?"

"Whatever." the dark haired demon said. "There are a lot of spectacles, too."

"Those articles are frequently remain when the dead are incinerated." Hazuki explained.

"Holy cow!" the white haired demon shouted.

"Whatever!" the dark haired demon boy shouted back, looking at the ground and seeing quite a few wigs. "Talk about wigging out."

"It's really a spectacle." the female oni remarked.

"Is it safe?" Nasubi questioned.

* * *

 _Later, in the office of The Great King_

"I hereby judge you to be sent to Mortal Hell!" Enma shouted at the deceased man. "Panty thieves are the lowest of the low! Therefore, I sentence you to be swaddled in underwear worn by demons 99 years straight! Send in the next sinner!"

"Please have mercy!"

"No mercy!" the large man stated as the sinner was dragged away by two male demon. "Of all the lousy, pathetic scum. panty thieves are the saddest of the lot. I mean, really. Show some interest in the flesh!"

"Enma-sama, there is nothing unusual to report from the Rive Styx." Hazuki informed as she walked into the room.

"Hey, Hazuki-chan. I've put up the souvenir from Australia you gave me."

On a pillar was a large, bejeweled mask.

"It's suppose to ward off evil spirits." the female oni told him. "It's pretty, isn't it?"

"Yes, although I have no need to ward off anything of the sort." the great king said.

Then Karauri and Nasubi came into the room.

"Enma-sama! We have finished cleanup of the River Styx!" they said in unison.

"Good job." Enma praised.

"I almost forgot! The Old Stripping Hag is demanding a larger budget." the dark haired demon informed.

"She's taken up mugging." the great king remarked.

"In regard to that, I persuaded her that I would hold funds in reverse." Hazuki informed.

* * *

 _"Hey, Sister, there's more to life than money." the Old Stripping Hag said to the female oni._

* * *

"The Stripping Hag is showing favoritism." Karauri remarked.

Nasubi nodded in agreement.

"By the way..." Hazuki started to say, turning her gaze to the sinner who was clinging onto a pillar, high off the ground, for dear life, repeatedly yelling mercy. "What did that dead person do?" she asked. "He is lamenting a lot. "

"Oh, him." Enma said. "When he was alive, he would steal women's undergarments, and when he was caught, he had the gall to show them off like trophies. He's just a pervert."

"Perversion aside, that makes him a thief." the female adviser stated. "I wonder what drove him to it?"

Then she threw her club. It hit the sinner in the face, making him slide down the pillar and onto the ground.

"Perhaps the stresses of modern society." Enma suggested.

"Thank you very much, Hazuki-sama." one the demons said before they dragged the sinner away.

"The topic of the day seems to be underwear." Hazuki noticed.

Nasubi started to sing the song again.

"Yikes, he's singing it again. What a free spirit." Karauri said.

"Hey, is that the demon underwear jingle?" Enma asked.

"Et tu?" the female oni questioned.

"Now that you mention it, many in the mundane world believe the stereotype that all demons run around in a single pair of underwear made from tiger skin."

"Underwear were merely made of tiger hide a long time ago, but the actual mode of attire is up to the individual." Hazuki said.

"Hmm, I think it would be kinda cool to go in bare tiger shorts." Nasubi commented.

"But why? That's totally lame." Karauri said.

"Just think about it. If the boys went around in their underwear, the girls would wear this!" the white haired demon imaged a oni girl wearing tiger skin underwear.

"Ohh!" the dark haired demon exclaimed.

"That's very flamboyant!" Enma stated.

"But what you described might as well be..." Hazuki started to say.

* * *

 _"Darling, I won't like you cheat on me!"_

* * *

"Overruled. After all, she isn't even a demon. Besides, attire like that can get very boring quickly."

"You're right." Karauri agreed. "And it would make the Stripping Hag even more hideous."

"That's an entirely different issue." Hazuki said.

"But I think Hazuki-sama could really pull it off." Nasubi remarked.

"Idiot!" the two-horned demon yelled, hitting him over the head. "Don't say stuff like that in front of the person you're talking about!"

"I did use to wear them, actually." the female informed.

"Eh?!" the three males looked at her in shock, all blushing from the thought of seeing her in tiger skin underwear.

"It was a long time ago, and it got boring pretty quickly." Hazuki said.

'It's amazing how she can say it so bluntly while looking so cool at the same time!' Karauri thought to himself.

"Can you even call those underwear?" Nasubi asked.

"That is a belly warmer, isn't it?" Karauri said.

"So, it's sarong?" the white haired demon questioned. "The sarong that demons wear are so-wrong!" he sang.

"That song's getting moody." the dark haired demon remarked.

"Hazuki-chan!" a female voice called out.

Hazuki looked and saw a female demon with pastel blue hair, two snakes wrapped around her waist, rushing over to her.

"Oko-san, whats wrong?" she asked.

"Several implements in the Mortal Hell armory don't match the inventory." Oko told her, showing her the scroll she had.

"That's odd." the female adviser said.

""I wonder who documented this." the pastel blue haired demoness thought aloud, placing a hand on her cheek.

"Oh!" Karauri suddenly exclaimed. "I'm sorry. it was him!" he said, dragging his friend over to the taller women. "Hey, it was you!"

"What? Did I goof up again?" Nasubi asked.

"Oh, aren't you a new inductee?" Oko questioned.

"Ma'am, we'll fix it straight away." the dark haired demon promised, making him and his friend bow.

"I'm sorry, Karauri."

The female demon stared at them for a bit before she smiled softly.

"Its a big job, good luck fixing it." she said before handed the scroll to Nasubi. "And be more careful next time." she told him before she walked away, smiling at them kindly.

"Y-Yes, ma'am!" Karauri responded, blushing.

"You're lucky she was so lenient with you." Enma remarked. "It surprises me how you and her are such good friends, Hazuki-chan." he said to the female oni. "Considering how different you two are."

Hazuki just huffed and pulled her pocket watch from her cleavage, looking at the time.

"You gotten get it together, bro!" Karauri said to the other demon male.

"I'm sorry." Nasubi apologized.

"I'll help fix it, okay?"

"Thank you, kindred spirit!" the white haired demon shouted happily.

Then his stomach growled

"You're really hopeless." Karauri sighed.

"Make sure you have your supper before you start anything." Hazuki told them.

* * *

 _Later, in the staff cafeteria_

"I'm starved." Nasubi said as he sat at the table his friend and female oni were sitting at.

"You know, you're bound to mess up something big one of these days." Karauri told him.

"Although you would be surprised at the discoveries his type is capable of." Hazuki remarked.

On the TV

 _"At 5'o clock PM today, the boss of the River Styx suffered a throat injury, requiring urgent care._ _The crow-tengu police are looking into the cause._ _If you happened to witness this, you are urged to report it immediately."_

"Hey, I saw that." Nasubi said.

"Eh?" Karauri questioned as he and Hazuki looked at the white haired demon.

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _"Is that safe?" the three-horned demon asked himself as he watch the giant snake boss of the river try to eat the giant crab whole._

 _End Flashback_

* * *

"That was it?!" the dark haired demon exclaimed.

"It was caused by a crab." Nasubi told him.

"I'm actually impressed you didn't freak out.

"Please put that energy into overtime work." Hazuki said.

"Yes, ma'am!"

* * *

 _Meanwhile_

The giant crab was sitting peacefully in the bloody water of the River Styx, three smaller crabs resting on one of it's pincers, while a wig floated around.

 **End.**

* * *

 **I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Please review, telling me what you thought about it. This chapter of also made with the help of KarouUchiha. If you have any ideas for the story yourself, please PM me or let me know in a review. Until next time.**


	4. The State of Hell and This and That

**Chapter four. I'm didn't excited because I'm one chapter closer to writing when Hazuki and Hakutaku see each other. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it was made thanks to the great help of KarouUchiha, credit also goes to her. Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

 _Episode Four: The State of Hell and This and That_

* * *

A very tall being was standing in Enma's office. He was muscular and his skin was tanned. He had dark brown fur covering his shoulders and waist. On his back were black, bat wings and two horns on the top of his head. His eyes were red, but his scleras were yellow. Behind him was a tanned tail with a dark brown, furred tip.

'I am Satan. I am the King of European Hell. Today I am visiting Japanese Hell. Someday soon, I, Satan, will seize control of their peaceful little Asian country.'

"Sorry to keep you waiting." Enma apologized as he and Hazuki walked into the room.

'So this is Enma.' Satan thought. 'He looks extremely easygoing.'

"What can I say? I ran out of toilet paper." the great king said. "I was like, 'Please deliver me from paper!'." he laughed.

"Pleased to meet you." the European king said politely, holding out a gift box.

"Oh, how thoughtful."

"That's quite alright, I dropped by unexpectedly." Satan said. 'That I caught you with your pants down.' he mentally added.

"As much as I would love to sit and chat, I'm awfully busy, so I will have a member of my staff give you the grand tour." Enma told him, sitting in his chair.

'Recon is what I came for.' the European demon mentally smirked. 'I don't care who shows me around.'

"Please make yourself at home." the great king said.

'You can count on that.'

"This is Hazuki, my Chief of Staff."

Satan looked at the female oni, who politely bowed to him.

"She is highly efficient. You'll be in good hands." Enma praised. "Hazuki-chan, see to the needs of our guests."

"Yes, sir."

Satan raised a brow as she walked over to him, looking down at her smaller figure.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Hazuki said.

* * *

 _Later_

The female oni was leading the European king down a hallway.

'She's really slender and curvy for a demon.' he thought as he looked down at the female and examined her body. 'I could crush her easily. Perhaps I could make her my concubine when I take over.'

Then Hazuki suddenly stopped in her tracks, turning to face him.

"Satan-sama, you are quite a tall gentleman." she remarked.

"What?"

"I must appear small in comparison." she noted

'Y-Yes, that's true." Satan said as she began to walk again. He silently gulped. 'Who is this woman? Can she see right through me? No, that's impossible. Wait, In the latest games out f japan, the curvy, slender, cool-headed, narrowed-eyed, formal speaking characters are the most powerful. I must watch myself around this woman.'

"We have arrived." Hazuki announced after they stood in front of a large set of twin doors. "This is our local specialty: the Scalding Cauldron."

"Ooh, it's famous." the European demon said, impressed.

"It is hot, so please be careful." the female oni warned him as she went to open the doors.

Steam blew through the doors, hot air following close behind.

"Emergency! Great King Enma has fallen into the cauldron!" a male demon cried.

"Ow! Ow! It's really hot!" Enma cried as he thrashed in the boiling water of the cauldron. "Oh, Hazuki-chan!" he shouted when he saw the female oni. "I'm so glad you're here. Help me out!"

"Uh, is he okay?" Satan asked.

"Hazuki-chan, hurry! I'll be cooked! Help me!"

"Observe." Hazuki said casually. "The Great King Enma, Judge of the Afterlife."

"Hazuki, dont explain who I am! Help me!" the great king begged.

"You are in the presence of Satan-sama." the female oni told him. "You should see to yourself."

"I'm dying! I'm dying!" he cried.

"Give me a break. You are already deceased."

"Never mind that! Help me, you bloody woman!"

Hazuki clicked her tongue, the air around her growing colder.

"It seems that the Great King Enma-sama has had his day." she said. she turned to the European king. "I apologize for this, Satan-sama. Let's proceed to the next location."

"I'm sorry. Please help me?" Enma called desperately.

She sighed and decided to help him.

"Honestly, the Great King Enma-sama has just made a laughing 'stock' of himself." the female oni remarked as she pulled the great king out of the cauldron.

"I really 'slipped into it' this time." Enma said.

'What is wrong with these people?!' Satan thought to himself. 'It's well and fine for Enma to laugh it off.'

"Boy, that warmed me right up." the great king said.

'And he's completely unharmed!'

"I will see to the tour, so would you please not interfere?" Hazuki requested.

"Oh, fine." Enma responded.

"Oh, watch your step."

At that moment, the great king's foot slipped and he fell to rhe ground, landing face-first. Hazuki touched the cauldrons top and felt that it was slimy.

"The cauldron is awfully slimy. We will have to clean it again." she stated.

"H-Hazuki-chan?" Enma called from he ground, his words muffled from the floor

'She's so hard on her superior!' Satan thought in disbelief. 'If one of my staff treated me that way, I would cry!'

Then he saw some other Hell wardens torturing a sinner, but they were not doing their best at it.

"You there." Hazuki said to them. "Stop slacking off and do your job properly. A demon has no compassion!" she raised her club. "Do it like this!" she ordered, hitting Enma on the head with her weapon while she said that.

"Hey, Hazuki-chan?"

"Do you understand?" the female oni questioned as she grinded her club against her boss's head.

"Yes, ma'am! Understood!" the demons replied.

"How could you, Hazuki-chan!?" Enma yelled, getting up.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I did it on purpose." Hazuki replied, not looking at all remorseful.

'She's scares me! Who is she?! I can't figure out the Japanese brain!' Satan mentally exclaimed.

Then a memory entered his head. It was of him overreacting and yelling at on of his workers, making her cry.

'I never should have gotten so angry over losing my game progress.' the European demon thought to himself.

"Satan-sama?"

'When I go back home, I need to apologize. My devils are all such good little devils.'

"Satan-sama?"

"Y-Yes?" he looked at the female oni calling him.

"I'm terribly sorry about that. Let's proceed to the next Hell."

"S-Sure..." the European king responded as he followed her, leaving the employees to properly torture the sinner.

* * *

 _Later, in Animal Torturer Hell_

"This is Animal Cruelty Hell." Hazuki informed as different types of animals viciously attacked sinners. "This is the hell for those who have tormented or killed animals."

'They're so vicious!' Satan mentally yelled.

Nearby, Shiro was humming to himself while he moved a skull.

"Hey, its Hazuki-sama!" he said excitedly when he saw the female oni, placing the skull down.

"Hello, Shiro-san." Hazuki greeted, kneeling down when the white dog ran up to her, petting his head.

'He doesn't look like he'd bite.' Satan thought. He knelt down, too. "Give me your paw." he held out his hand to the canine.

Shiro just panted and stared at him.

"One more time."

But the white dig didn't do anything.

"Shiro-san, this gentleman is Satan-sama." Hazuki whispered to him. "He runs the European Hell. You should say hello."

"Yes, ma'am, Hazuki-sama!" Shiro responded.

He placed his paw in the larger being's hand.

"Good afternoon, Santa-san."

'I get inferior treatment?'

"Shiro!" a female voice called out, making both the dog and European demon flinch.

"Hey, you!" a small, brown poodle-type female dog, wearing pink bows in her ears and a pink collar around her neck, trotted over to them. "I asked you for that report, remember? Don't slack off just because Hazuki-sama is here!"

"I'm sorry." Shiro apologized as he hid behind the female oni.

"Please don't blame Shiro-san." Hazuki spoke up. "I'm the one who distracted him from his work."

'So she can be nice?" Satan mentally questioned, a bit surprised.

"Hazuki-sama..." Shiro looked up at the female oni with respectable eyes, touched that she was defending him.

"Hey, don't quarrel in front of visitor."

"Oh, Yasha-Ichi-senpai!" Shiro said when he saw the other male dog come over to them.

"I say what needs to be said, no matter where I am! That is my policy!" the female dog, Cookie, stated.

"You have to be careful of how you say it because it frightens him." Yasha-Ichi told her.

"We have to get him fully trained before I leave!"

"Eh?" the white dog tilted his head to the side, confused.

"We're getting married." the scare-faced dog told him.

"I am retiring to become a house wife." the brown poodle said, leaning her face against the bigger canine's.

"What?!" Shiro gaped in shock.

"Congratulations." Hazuki said as she and Satan clapped. 'I can't wait for the puppies.' she mentally added.

Cookie looked at the female oni. "Hazuki-sama, do you ever think of settling down one day and having children?" she asked.

"Honestly, not really." she replied . "I've been too busy with my day job. Plus, it would be a pain in the ass to take care of a man and a child."

"Oh, it would be tough at times." the female dog said. "But you'll soon find out that there's nothing better than having a husband and child to love on. And knowing that they love you back just as much."

Hazuki clicked her tongue and pulled out her watch from her cleavage.

"Would you look at the time?" she said. "Mr. Satan, I know we're in the middel of our tour, but a meal as been prepared for you."

"Oh, how considerate!" Satan said.

"Please follow me."

'The Japanese version of hell runs like a company.' the European demon thought as he followed the female oni.

* * *

 _Later_

The duo was walking to the room where the meal was being held when Satan noticed something out of the corner of his eye.

"Excuse me..." he started to say as he stopped walking.

"Yes?" Hazuki questioned, stopping in her tracks.

"What are those? They're shivering ever so slightly." he pointed to the garden they were walking by.

"Oh yes." the female oni said as she walked down the steps.

She picked up one of the plants by the stem and showed it to the taller being. Satan gaped in shock when he saw that it was a goldfish attached to the stem.

"These are my ornamental pet goldfish plants." Hazuki told him. "It had began as a hobby, but I dabble in selective breeding."

"Who would possibly want these as pets?"

"Their fan base expands every year, and we hold an annual competition to see who has the largest one." she explained.

"These things are really that popular?!" Satan said in disbelief. "You Japanese sure do hold a lot of ridiculous competitions."

"Europe also holds it's share of ridiculous competitions." Hazuki retorted. "Like the wife-carrying competition."

"You have me there."

* * *

 _Later_

"You must really eat before your food gets cold." the female oni stated as she opened the doors to the room she had lead the European demon.

There, on a large table filled with other foods, was a large goldfish plants gasping from air on a large plant.

"This is this year's winner."Hazuki informed.

"Please have a seat." Enma said, sitting in a chair opposite of the table. "I will also be partaking."

'Eek! I have to eat this?!' Satan mentally exclaimed as he stared at the planimal.

"Oh, no! Are you a vegetarian?" the great king asked.

"I'm pretty sure he eats meat on the Sabbath." Hazuki said.

'That is not the problem! But I can't let them get the better of me on their own turf.'

Satan sat down.

"It looks really good..." he said, forcing a smile.

Suddenly, the fish plant was sliced in half right in front of him. Satan paled.

"It is now time for Japan's cultural specialty, the dissection show." Hazuki said, sliding a rag through the long-bladed cutting knife she had.

"Because it is best craved live." Enma said as he clapped.

Then the female started cutting, carving, and plating the fish plat like a sushi master, while looking good doing it.

"Be my guest." she said after she had finished in record time.

'Eek! Japanese dexterity!' Satan thought in amazement as he held the sushi roll in his hand.

"Our Hazuki-chan is good at everything." Enma complimented.

"That is not true. I can't do everything." Hazuki denied as she carved a turnip into a spider lily.

'From white turnip to spider lily!' the European demon mentally exclaimed. 'She's clever! You Japanese are far too clever!' Then he took a bite. 'M-My word! The texture differs with each bite, producing new and unique flavors! And it's so healthy. S-she's the perfect demon...'

Then he snapped out of his amazed state.

'Snap out of it. You are falling victim to culture shock when you're suppose to be spying. Don't forget your objective!' then he coughed. "I'm sorry, but where is the washroom?" he asked.

"It is at the end of the hall to your right." Hazuki told him, cleaning her long cutting knife.

* * *

 _Later_

After Satan had used the washroom.

"Just get a hold of yourself." he told himself as he started to wake back to where the great king and his adviser were.

Then he walked by a hallway that had a no trespassing sign. He looked ahead and saw a door that have a Chinese lantern symbol above it. He recognized the symbol from the back of the female oni's yukata.

"Oh, it's her room."

Curiosity getting the better of him, Satan decided to go in. When he opened the door and walked in, he looked around the room. Then he saw a table that was full of different types of herbs.

"So, she has explicit knowledge of pharmaceuticals. That's quite respectable." Satan remarked. "And she studies traditional Chinese medicine." he picked up a scroll that was laid open. "What's this? A demon cure-all? Really." he read the list of ingredients.

 _Ingredients: Ranchu Goldfish (One Medium), Caterpillar Fungus, Cow Eye, Skull, Mandrake, Coelacanth, Great King Enma Broth, Dessicated (Or Broiled) Satan._

The European demon froze as he reread the last ingredient. He started to freak out as he took a step 's when he noticed a certain female oni standing in the doorway.

"What seems to be the problem?" Hazuki asked, holding an earthen charcoal brazier in her hand. "I will prepare the broiling shortly."

Satan turned green.

"Oh, my God!" he screamed as he ran out of the room.

"Are you leaving already?" the female adviser called. "Please take care now."

"I will never return to this horrible place ever again!" the European demon vowed as he continued to run for his life. "God, please protect me just once!"

"And I was just about to broil the goldfish, too." Hazuki said to herself.

Then she noticed her scroll on the floor. She picked it up.

"Oh! I misspelled Santa as Satan." she shrugged her shoulders. "Oh well. That aside, why was Satan using the phrase, 'Oh, my God'?" she questioned. "Is it the end of the world?"

 **END**

* * *

 **Done with the fourth chapter. I'm glad because I get to write the fifth one, where Hazuki and Hakutaku are meeting. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter in your reviews. Until next time.**


	5. Hakutaku

**I'm really excited for this chapter because Hakutaku finally makes an appearance with Hazuki. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it was made with the help of KarouUchiha. Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

 _Chapter Five: Hakutaku_

* * *

"What? Hazuki-sama has the day off?" Shiro questioned the great king, Lurio and Kakisuke on either side of him.

"Yes. She pulled an all-nighter between two day shifts, so I gave her the day off." Enma informed, sitting in his chair. "The thing is, she only pulled the all nighter because she said something needed to be done. She's probably still sleeping."

"Aw, but I wanted her opinion on what I should give my superior as a wedding present." the white dog said sadly, his ear drooping.

"Oh, how about a nice peach of immortality?" the great king suggested. "Hakutaku-kun is in charge of Shangri-La, so go and ask him."

"Hakutaku-sama?" Shiro questioned, tilting his head to the side.

"He and Hazuki-chan are very similar. Not only do their faces look alike, they are both very shrewd." he then realized what he said. "Don't tell Hazuki-chan I said that! She would be horribly offended."

"What's their relationship like?" the canine asked.

Enma sighed. "She says she hates him, but I think she's lying."

"Eh?"

"And, between you and me, Hakutaku-kun has a bit of a crush on her."

"A crush?" Kakisuke repeated.

"He always tries to hit on her. But that usually ends up with him being beaten up." Enma explained.

"You know, the sounds an awful lot like my superior and her fiance." Shiro remarked. "Shangri-La, huh? Do you think Hazuki-sama would take me there?" he asked.

"You need to pay attention to when Enma-sama is speaking." the monkey told him.

"Are you sure its okay to wake up Hazuki-sama?" Lurio asked.

Enma scratched his bread in thought. "Well, it's afternoon now, so it should be okay to wake her." he said. "Once we were sharing a room on a business trip..."

* * *

 _(Flashback)_

"Hazuki-chan, wake up!" Enma said excitedly to the sleeping female oni as he looked out the window. "You have to see how many rhinoceros beetles are on that tree! C'mon, Hazuki-chan! Oh, look! Stag beetles! Hazuki-chan! I'll be darned! I think those are rooks. I knew it, they are rooks! Hazuki-chan! Look at the rooks! Look!"

Hazuki was starting to get really pissed off. Then her leg shot out and kicked the great king in the back of the leg, sending him flying across to the other side of the room.

 _End Flashback_

* * *

"She doesn't take too kindly to being woken up. Even though she was still asleep at the time, her low kick packed a punch. After that, she said in her sleep, 'You're up too early, old man.'. She's also an extremely hard sleeper so she might not wake up at all."

"Shiro, you go wake her up." Lurio said to his canine friend.

"What? Why me?" the white dog asked.

"You adore Hazuki-sama, don't you?" the pheasant retorted. "Just go with an open heart, like a dumb mutt in an American sitcom."

"You really think I could hope for domestic bliss with Hazuki-sama?" Shiro questioned, his tail wagging happily at the thought of being the female oni's dog, him licking her awake.

"I wouldn't get your hopes up too high." Kakisuke told him.

"Anyway, I don't drink water from the toilet like stupid American dogs! Don't lump us together."

"But I always see you lapping up the water that drips form the faucet." Lurio pointed out.

"I do that because it bothers me!"

"Let's call the whole thing off." the monkey said. "The tiniest impulsive act can be the difference between life and death." his face blue as he remembered the sins of his past and the consequences he had to face.

"What was your mental state six hundred years ago when you impulsively pummeled that crab with green persimmons?" the pheasant asked.

"Setting aside the chestnut and the bee, what is the nature of your relationship with the stone mortar?" Kakisuke asked no one specifically.

"What don't you go and find out?" Enma said.

"Would you like to come with me, Enma-sama?' Shiro asked.

"I'm staying right where I am! I cannot cross over yet, for the sake of my grandchild!" the great king declared.

* * *

 _(Later)_

The three animals were standing in front of the door that lead to the female oni's room.

"It already feels intimidating." Kakisuke remarked.

They went over to the door and opened it. They looked in and saw Hazuki sleeping on her bed, her back to them.

"He was right." the monkey said. "Small sounds won't wake her."

"Usually women like her are so sensitive, they wake up at the drop of a hat." Lurio commented.

"She really is a hard sleeper." Shiro said.

"Wow, this place is full a complex-looking books." Kakisuke remarked as they walked further into the room.

"It smells really nice in here." the white dog sniffed around the room.

"It's a female's room, so I guess it's to be expected." the pheasant said.

The canine went over to a pot sitting on the floor and looked in it. Inside was a shriveled up goldfish.

"Eek!"

"Shush!" Kakisuke shushed him, holding a finger to his lips.

"That startled me." Shiro said.

"Woah, its a crystal Mister Hitoshi!" Lurio said in a whispered voice when he saw the crystal figure.

"I think I saw one of these on her desk, too." the monkey informed. "Does that mean she won two of them? Wow."

"This looks like her area for received gifts." the large bird commented, looking at the table with different types of objects.

"What is this thing?" Shiro asked, looking at the stuffed animal that looked like a goldfish plant. "It looks strange."

"It's called the 'ranchu' goldfish."

"Hey, isn't this a limited run Hell confectionery?"

"She must be an obsessive collector." Kakisuke remarked, picking up a bottle from the female oni's worktable.

"Kakisuke, I wouldn't touch anything if I were you." Lurio warned.

Then Hazuki turned over in her sleep. The three animals froze. However, she was still asleep, breathing softly. They all sighed in relief. Then they saw something in her arms.

It appeared to be a strange-looking stuffed animal that resembled some type of fluffy, white bovine with six horns and eyes. Two, long horns were on the top of it's head while the other four were smaller and on it's back. As for the eyes, two of them were in the normal spot, while one was on it's forehead. Three more were on one side of it's body, while three other ones were placed on the other side.

'A stuffed animal?' the three animals thought in unison.

"So she likes those kind of things, too, huh?" Lurio remarked.

"It's a good thing she just turned over in her sleep." Kakisuke said.

"She's really peaceful looking when she sleeps." Shiro commented as he went over to her. "She must be really tired." he gently tapped her cheek with his paw.

Suddenly, the female oni's eyes fluttered open.

"Ah!" the white dog screamed in fear. "Don't kick me! I'm sorry!"

"I would never do such a thing to an animal." Hazuki said, grabbing his tail so he couldn't run away, as she sat up. She released his tail and placed her hand on her head, still holding the stuffed animal. "It hurts to be woken up from hard sleep right after pulling an all-nighter." she remarked. "Please cut me some slack."

Placing the stuffed animal on the bed, the female oni got up. Then she started to undress herself.

Woah!" the animals cried in unison.

"Oi, you two, have you know shame?!" Lurio shouted as he covered his friend's eyes with his wings, closing his own eyes. "You can't stare at a lady when she's changing!"

"But she changed in front of us!" Shiro retorted.

"Still, we should respect her."

After Hazuki had finished changing into her yukata, she went into the bathroom to freshen up. In there, she washed her face and brushed her teeth.

"It makes you realize how much effort goes into making yourself presentable." the white dog remarked. "Momotaro looked terrifying first thing in the morning."

"I have no use for that sort of information." the female oni said. "After all, he's a man and I am a woman." she added after applying some lip balm to her lips. "I take great care of my personal appearance."

"Well, women usually do more than men, after all." Lurio commented.

She looked at the white dog.

"Would you like me to make you more presentable? Like a poodle?" she offered.

"No!" Shiro immediately screamed.

"Hazuki-sama, what was that stuff animal you were sleeping with?" Kakisuke asked.

"It's nothing special." Hazuki replied. "More importantly, how is it that you all happened to know where I lived?"

"Enma-sama told us where to find you and gave us permission to enter." the monkey informed.

"I see..."

"Hazuki-sama, you have the entire day off today, right?" Shiro asked. "Let's go visit Shangri-La together."

The female oni sighed. "Very well."

They exited her room and down the hallway.

"But, Shiro-san, would you like to play a quick game of fetch first?" she asked.

"Yeah, I like playing fetch!" Shiro replied.

"In that case, Shiro-san..." Hazuki pulled out a round ball. "Fetch!" she threw the ball, throwing it right into an unsuspecting Enma's face.

The pheasant and monkey flinched as the white dog went after the ball.

* * *

 _Shangri-La is renowned as one of the top one hundred picturesque places in the afterlife._

* * *

 _(In Shangri-La)_

"I wonder how Momotaro is doing?" Shiro thought aloud.

Everyone soon spied Chinese-styled buildings surrounded by peach trees and such.

"Wow! This place really lives up to its reputation!" Kakisuke remarked, impressed.

"The buildings are Chinese-style." Luiro stated the obvious, sitting on Hazuki's shoulder.

"This place is the boundary between Japan and China, so it has become a place of mutual commerce." the female oni explained.

"Oh, that makes sense." the white dog said. "Do they have all-you-can-eat steamed buns?" he asked.

"How does China automatically equal all-you-can-eat steamed buns?" Hazuki questioned, the pheasant nodding in agreement.

* * *

 _(Meanwhile)_

"It is so fabulous to have found my calling." Momotaro sighed blissfully as he picked a peach from a tree, a peaceful expression on his face. "I wonder how I could have been such a fool for so long? I must have been really full of myself. I remember how I would pick all those stupid fights. I was such a douche."

After filling up the wooden basket that was on his back, the ex. swordsman started to make his way back to the shop he was working at.

"Hakutaku-sama!" he called as slid open the shop's door. "I've finished picking the peaches of immortality."

Suddenly, something hard was thrown in his face, causing him to fall to the ground and making peaches in the basket to scatter.

"It's true what they say." Hakutaku remarked from his upside down position as the woman who had thrown him stomped away angrily. He raised his head, some blood flowing from his nose. "Girls are scary."

"You look headless, sir." Momotaro said as he held his injured cheek.

The man jumped up.

"Have you picked those peaches of immortality for me?" he asked, picking up one of the peaces off of the ground. "Shie-shie. Thanks."

"Yes, sir. Am I going crazy or is that the eighth girl I've seen since I came here?"

"No, strictly speaking, she's the ninth."

The younger male deadpanned.

"Isn't it the strangest thing?" Hakutaku suddenly questioned. "Nobody takes offense at the rabbit for mating all year round, yet all the girls get mad at me."

"Actually, that isn't strange in the slightest." Momotaro said.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that earlier." the Chinese beast apologized, talking about being thrown at his subordinate. "Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you."

"Say..." Hakutaku started to say, picking a leaf from the ex. warrior's head as he stood up. "This leaf, what do you call it?"

"Is it a Chinese lantern?" Momotarou questioned.

"Bingo! The kanji reads 'demon light'. Demon means 'ghost' in Chinese so it refers to the red paper lantern carried by the dead. In herbal medicine, its roots is called Physalis alkenkengi. It's mainly used to make diuretic or cough medicine. It also contains a trace amount of poison. In the past, prostitutes would consume them for abortion, so this must not be eaten by pregnant woman."

"Exactly. It contains alkaloids as well as hystonin, so it causes miscarriages."

"Yup, yup." Hakutaku nodded. Then he froze when he recognized the cool, female voice.

"I always hoped you would eat your fill of them and suffer from gut-busting diarrhea." Hazuki remarked.

"Be careful, this woman is also poison." the Chinese beast warned his employee, a bit of blood coming out of his mouth.

"Hazuki-san." Momotaro said when he saw the female oni.

"Momotaro! I came to play!" Shiro barked.

"The gang's all here!" the ex. swordsman exclaimed happily as he knelt down.

"How have you been, Momotaro?" Lurio asked.

"I'm doing fine. How about you? Have you put on some weight?"

"How's work?" Shiro asked as he licked his old partner's face.

"Work's going smoothly." Momotaro replied. "Right now, I'm learning a lot about medicine. In today's world, you really need a fall-back trade. Solid qualifications and special skills sets to survive a bad economy."

"You've become so much more mature, Momotaro." the white dog praised.

"Hakutaku-sama, the mythical Chinese beast, is teaching me the power of traditional Chinese medicine."

"Nii-hao. Chin to guen chow." Hakutaku greeted.

"Wow."

"He's amazing." the ex. swordsman complimented. "I don't think there's a medicine he doesn't know. I'm going to make my own drug brand someday."

"Momotaro brand millet dumplings?" the Chinese beast questioned.

"Those have already been invented as a tool for animal obedience." Hazuki said. "Although, animals can be broken without them." she added.

"Maybe for you!"

"Excuse me..." Momotaro started to say as he stood up, looking between the two. "But are you two related?" he asked.

"No, we are just mere acquaintances who both studied Oriental medicine." the female immediately answered.

"Don't be so cold, Hazuki." Hakutaku said, putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to him, making her very annoyed. "We're more like lovers." he told his employee.

"Eh?!" the ex. swordsman exclaimed in disbelief.

"Momotarou-san..." Hazuki started to say. "It's okay for you to trust the brain of this man, but do not trust the words that come out of his mouth." she informed, pinching and pulling on the Chinese beast's cheek. "Because he is nothing more than a pig."

"Oi, Nee-chan, can I get you to drink this for me with no questions asked?" Hakutaku asked, placing a hand on her shoulder while his other hand held a small bottle that had 'love potion' written on it.

She released his cheek and smacked the bottle out of his hand.

"Aah!" he cried as the bottle broke when it hit the ground, the contents soaking into the dirt. "Do you know how like it took to make that?!"

"I don't care." she told him monotonously. "I will not drink your rape drug."

'T-They're almost like a married couple.' Momotaro thought to himself.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Shiro spoke up. "I was hoping to give a peach of immortality as a wedding present to my superior and intolerable colleague in Animal Cruelty Hell. May I have one?"

"Sure." Hakutaku said, picking up a peach from the basket that had be refilled with the fruit. "They say that peaches have the power to exorcise ill will and grant youthful longevity. They make the perfect wedding gift." he looked at his subordinate. "Aren't you yourself the product of a young-again old man and woman who ate a peach and got busy, Tao-taro-kun?" he questioned as he tossed him the peach.

"Actually, no." Momotaro replied, blushing a bit.

"That aside, is the kintan I ordered ready?" Hazuki asked.

"Oh, yes, yes. I made sure to order in the legitimate item." the Chinese beast told her.

"You assume there are knock-off versions?" the female oni questioned.

"It's just that I found the phrase for 'Is this the real thing?' written as 'Cho shi chenda ma?' in a 'Conversational Chinese for Travelers' book in a dollar store." Hakutaku replied.

"That must be a very precious phrase." she observed.

"Excuse me, but what is kintan?" Momotaro asked as he tied the bandana that held the peach of immortality around Shiro's neck.

"It is a Chinese wonder drug." Hazuki told him.

The Chinese beast reached in his coat pocket and pulled something out. He opened his hand to reveal a round, small topaz-colored stone.

"Wow, it looks like a gemstone!" the ex. swordsman remarked.

"It is very valuable." Hakutaku said. "The kintan comes to five thousand yuan." he told the female oni, sparkles around him. "A million yen will do."

"Don't you dare raise the price on me." she said as she glared at him.

"If you go out with me, I'll consider lowering the price."

Hazuki stared at him blankly. She walked up to him and placed her smaller hand on his larger one, covering the kintan.

"Is that a yes?" the Chinese beast questioned.

The female oni dropped her club and looked at him. She scowled.

"Balse!"

She squeezed his hand harshly, causing it to bend at a angle that it should not be bent at, the sound of bones being crushed was heard.

"My hand! My hand!" Hakutaku screamed in pain. He quickly pulled his hand back. "What is that supposed to be, the spell of destruction?!" he yelled at her. "What are you, some kind of Ghibli maniac?!"

"You still have the other one, unfortunately." Hazuki said.

"You're inhuman!"

"I'm not even human to begin with."

"This hand isn't to be treated roughly, even if it's by the soft and gentle hands of a girl." the Chinese beast stated, rubbing his injured hand.

"You were thrown into a wall, by supposed gentle hands not too long." Momotaro pointed out.

"Oh, so you were dumped again, huh?" Hazuki questioned, not looking or sounding surprised.

"I was not dumped, mon!"

"Mmhm." she looked at him doubtfully. Then she sighed. "I know I'm wasting my breath on you, but you will be cast into Hell someday for that." then she thought of something. "Oh, and while I'm here, I would like some Asian ginseng, please." she requested.

"I'll just pop over there and pick some!" Hakutaku said.

"I'd be happy to do that menial work." Momotaro insisted.

"It's all right. Let him go and pick it." the female oni told him, raising her arm to stop him. "Hakutaku..." she called out. "I will say this one thing, even a noble and mythical beast cannot escape divine wrath!"

"I'm untouchable, mon!" the Chinese beast responded as he kept walking. "If anyone will get stuck down, it'll be you."

Suddenly, Hakutaku felt his foot sink into the ground. He looked down. The ground beneath him started to crack, his face turning blue as he started to sink even further. Then the ground completely crumpled under him and he fell through the hole. He screamed as he fell through the hole and into the mundane world. He soon hit the ground and fell through another hole, landing right in Hell.

"This is the real pit of Hell." Hazuki remarked.

* * *

 _(In Hell)_

"People really look like ants from up here!" Hakutaku heard her voice from above, a tinge of laughter in it, as Karauri and Nasubi helped him up.

"Shut your mouth! Ghibil freak!"

* * *

 _(Back in Shangri-La)_

"Ow..." the Chinese beast groaned as he climbed out of the hole. "This hole wasn't here yesterday. How did it get here? Yikes."

'He's a mythical best all right.' Momotaro mentally remarked. 'I wonder how he managed to climb out?'

"I spent a sleepless six hours digging it myself." Hazuki informed, smacking a shovel she had pulled from who knows where into her hand. "Be proud that you 'fell for it'." she told him. "My all-nighter really paid off."

"You know, if you wanted me to come and visit you, all you had to do was ask." Hakutaku said.

WHAM!

The female oni hit him on the head with the shovel.

"Don't get so full of yourself." she told him as he fell back down to Hell.

"There he goes again." the ex. swordsman said.

"If that pervert were mortal, he would already be sent to the hell for sexual deviants." Hazuki stated. "I would personal 'take care of him' myself." she said in a scary way.

"He would probably like it, though..." Momotarou mumbled.

"What was that?" the female adviser asked as she turned her sharp gaze at him.

"N-Nothing." he stammered in fear.

She looked down and saw the kintan on the ground.

"I shall take my leave now." she said as she bent down and picked up the drug.

As she was walking away, Hakutaku climbed back out of the hole.

"Are you leaving already?" he asked.

"Yes." Hazuki replied, not turning around to look at him.

Then the Chinese beast noticed that the drug was gone and that she didn't pay.

"Hey, you can't leave without paying!" he called out.

She just ignored him.

"Oi! Don't ignore me!" he started to run after her.

"Hakutaku-sama, I'm not sure that's a good idea." Momotaro called out, but was ignored.

While he was running towards her, Hakutaku suddenly tripped and fell.

"Woah!" he cried, causing the female oni to turn around.

He bumped into her, making them both fall to the ground, him on top of her. Then the Chinese beast felt something soft and squishy in one of his hands.

"What is..." he trailed off when he saw that one of his hands was on one the female oni's large breasts.

Hazuki went still, nobody has ever touched like this before.

As for the others, they were all gaping in shock.

'He's so dead!' they all mentally yelled in unison.

'So soft...' Hakutaku thought, grinning widely, as he squeezed her breast.

Then he flinched when he felt a dark, dangerous aura emitting from the female oni.

"What are you doing?" Hazuki asked in a calm, yet very scary tone of voice.

Everyone could feel her anger.

'He's really dead!' the others thought.

Before the Chinese beast could to anything, the female oni grabbed him by the face and pulled him off of her. Then she threw him back into the hole from her sitting position.

"Consider that my payment!"

"It was worth it!" Hakutaku shouted as he fell back down to Hell.

'Three times in one day.' Momotaro mentally remarked.

"Let's go." Hazuki ordered as she stood up and dusted off her kimono.

"Y-Yes, ma'am!" the three animals replied as they followed her.

"Are you okay, Hazuki-sama?" Shiro asked.

"We never speak of this incident, agree?" she said, her tone demanding, as she kept walking.

"U-Understood." they responded in unison, shivering in fear.

"Are you okay, Hakutaku-sama?" the ex. swordsman asked as his boss once again pulled himself out of the hole.

"I've never felt better." Hakutaku grinned as he held up his hand, making a slight squeezing motion with it.

Hazuki felt a shiver go down her spine.

'That smug bastard, touching me like that.' she thought vexingly. 'I'll make sure to kill him properly next time. Maybe I'll blow some steam off on Enma-sama.'

* * *

 _(Meanwhile)_

'I feel like my life is an danger.' Enma thought to himself as he suddenly got chills. "Hazuki-chan must have finished meeting with Hakutaku-kun. For some reason, the more similar people are, the less they seem to get along."

 **END**

* * *

 **Done with this chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it. Please let me know what you thought about it in your reviews. I'll try to write more romantic moments with Hazuki and Hakutaku. Until next time.**


	6. How Their Discord Came To Be

**Chapter six. I'm so happy that I have gotten this far. I'm sure everyone is aware this explains Hazuki and Hakutaku's relationship. This was made with the help of KarouUchiha. I hope you all enjoy it. Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

 _Episode Six: How Their Discord Came To Be_

* * *

 _In Hell_

"Here you go." Hazuki said as she handed the paper she just stamped to Momotaro, sitting at her desk. "Please give this to Hakutaku."

"Sure." the ex. swordsman replied, staring at the female oni.

"What is it?" she asked.

"You know, you two honestly fight like a married couple." he told her.

"Excuse me?" the female oni questioned, her eyes narrowed as a dark aura surrounded her.

Momotaro was now very scared of her. If her gaze could kill, he knew he would be a goner for sure.

"W-What I mean is..." he tried to think of an excuse that wouldn't get him killed. "I-it is pointless to say, because if I know Hakutaku-sama..."

* * *

 _Flashback_

"Wow! So you're a God of the Sun shrine maiden!" the Chinese beast said to the woman he gave a bag of medicine to. "That's amazing! You're what all the girls want to be and cute to boot!"

"Thank you."

"Are you doing anything later?" he asked and placed his arm around her. "I happen to be free tonight."

"Um, actually..." the girl started to say. "I already have a boyfriend."

"That's a shame." Hakutaku said as he sat on the counter. "Let me know if you ever split up."

"We won't."

Momtaro sighed from his boss's actions. Then the door to the shop slid up.

"Excuse me." Oko said. "Please give me medicine for poor circulation."

"Come on in, O-koh-chan." the Chinese beast invited. "You look lovely today."

 _Flashback End_

* * *

"He's so fluent with words that it set my teeth on edge." the ex. swordsman said.

CRASH

Hazuki just punched a pillar with the back of her hand, creating multiple cracks and making smoke come out of it. Momotaro froze and stared at her fearfully, the paper slipping out of his hands.

I'm so sorry. Pay no mind to me." the female oni told him, rubbing the back of her now red hand.

'Oh. So that hurt.' he thought.

'Damn perverted bastard.' she mentally growled.

Then Enma suddenly slipped into the room.

"Allow me to explain." he said.

"Enma-sama? Good afternoon." Momotaro greeted.

"Hazuki-chan becomes very angry whe..." before he could finish, Hazuki hit the great king with her club.

"Silence." she ordered, putting her club down. "I don't get angry over that beast who always seems to be in mating season."

"You literally just backhanded a pillar because Momotaro-kun told you that Hakutaku-kun was flirting with other women." Enma told her.

The female oni glared at him as a dark aura surrounded her again.

"It's just because his pervertedness always pisses me off." she stated.

'At any other time, she can remain perfectly composed, but when it comes to Hakutaku-kun, that all goes out the window." the great king said to the ex, swordsman. "That's why I use it for ammunition from time to time."

Suddenly, a pen, which had a small goldfish plant figure on the top, flew past Enma's face and embedded itself into the marble wall next to him.

'Now she's embedded her ballpoint pen in marble.' the great king thought.

"But how did this happen?" What caused you to hate him so much? Was there a trigger?" Momotaro asked.

"Oh, yes..." the large man started to say, scratching his bread in thought. "I believe it was around a thousand years ago..."

* * *

 _Flashback, a thousand years ago_

 _We used to hold the Japanese-Chinese Goodwill Games, a gathering much like the Olympics._

"Representing China, for the Milky White team: mystical beast Hakutaku!"

The Chinese beasts was wearing a white kimono, with light blue lining, over an orange one. Some type of hat, with long, feathers attached to either side of it, was on his head, along with a pair of white shoes.

"Representing Japan, for the Dark Red team: demon goddess Hazuki!"

The female oni was wearing long-sleeved, black kimono, with red lining, that showed her shoulders and some of her cleavage. She had a red shawl, with a floarl pattern, around her arms. A large, brown, black, and white bow was tied above her red obi. Her legs were visible through the slit in her kimono. She also had on wooden geta.

* * *

 _Present Day_

"Excuse me, but aren't those suppose to be the White and Red teams?" Momotaro questioned.

"Beats me. Anyway, they were both referees." Enma said.

"Referees? They weren't participants?"

"Both of them were far too advanced to be participants. "Hakutaku-kun always goes around with a smirk on his face, but in China, he is called 'The greatest of the all monster'."

Hazuki scoffed.

"If he is the greatest, then the world is ending." she said, using her sharp tongue, as the great king handed her back her pen.

"In mundane japan, the Nurari-Hyon is treated as the greatest monster of all time, but he isn't much to look at either. So that's why each country put forth a referee, to keep it fair." the large man explained. They competed in arts of war, physical strength and endurance, and for intellectual supremacy using fast thinking and judgment ability. And had a monster duel using the monster arts."

"That sounds fun!" the ex. swordsman said excitedly.

"We nominated them as referees over the entire competition. It was probably the first time they worked together for an extended period of time. But to be honest, all the men were focused on Hazuki-chan, while the girls were focused on Hakutaku-kun, for the duration of the competition. The participants were virtually ignored. Even some women were focused on Hazuki-chan, now that I think about it."

"Well, that's not really surprising..." Momotaro said. "Could it be because the costumes were too extravagant? As such, the girls will no doubt pay more attention to both of them."

"Yeah, that might have been the case." Enma agreed. "We had wanted to exhibit Japan's textiles. Then China began to flaunt theirs, too. There were however, participants with greater popularity. Everyone was enthralled by the intellectual battle between Shokatsu Komei VS Taishi Shotoku."

"What the hell?! I'd totally watch that!" the ex. swordsman exclaimed.

"Takiobo the tactian, who had been siting in the VIP wing, joined the competition. Seeing this, Queen Himiko of the Yaba-Taikokou also left the stands. It turned into a big free-for-all party."

"I wish you could have taken cell pics of that!"

"Even more amazing was the dead center of the spectators stand. and Komachi Ono was observing the game side by side."

"Holy cow! Were they as beautiful as they say?!"

"Well, ladies of nobility in the old days were strictly trained from ever showing their faces."

* * *

 _"Is this the proper way to use the Japanese fan you gave me?" Yang Kwei-Fei asked the woman next to her._

 _"Yes, that's right." Komachi Ono told her._

* * *

"Could they actually see the competition?" Momotaro questioned.

"But they were gorgeous from the rear." Enm said. "Komachi Ono, was on of the women to take an interest in Hazuki-chan. She even nonchalantly composed a poem for her."

"Uh sir." the ex. swordsman spoke up. "Could you possibly skip to the part to how Hazuki-san came to hate Hakutaku-sama?"

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry." the great king apologized.

* * *

 _Flashback, four thousand years ago_

 _I believe it happened during the intermission._

Enma was walking down a hall when he saw the two referees sitting on a bench together in the resting area. They were sitting in slight awkward silence. The Chinese beast awkwardly cleared his throat.

 _They couldn't endure the silence._

"Hey, wanna make a bet?" Hakutaku asked the female oni sitting next to him as he scooted closer to her, raising his hand to put it around her shoulders.

"What kind?" Hazuki questioned, smacking his hand and moving away from him.

He pointed to the door in front of them, a sign that had 'Monster Privy' written on it covering it.

"I bet that the next lady that comes through there has a bust that smaller than yours."

"What a pointless train of thought. And why mine?"

The Chinese beast smirked.

"Wipe that smirk off your face." Hazuki ordered. "I will accept your challenge." she said. "What does the winner receive?"

"If I win, you have to go on a date with me." Hakutaku said.

"What do I get if I win?" she asked.

"You can pick whatever you want." he told her.

"Very well. You have to stay away from me."

"You're so cold." the Chinese beast whined.

The female oni just rolled her eyes.

 _I believe the bet was meant to pass the time._

"Someone's coming." Hazuki said when she heard footsteps.

They turned their attention to the door and waited. Soon, a heavyset demon walked their.

'Which is it?!' Hakutaku mentally exclaimed when they couldn't identify proper gender of the person as they walked past them.

"Is that an old woman or an old man?" the female oni questioned.

"Who know?" the Chinese said. "E-Either way, it's smaller than yours. It's my win."

"We don't even know if it's a woman." Hazuki retorted. "And I will not not accept the conditions of the bet until I know for sure." she declared.

"You're so stubborn." Hakutaku stated.

"All vague possibilities aside, it is vital to base the decision on someone obvious. You are a judge, aren't you?"

"Hey, you have a really scathing way of saying things! Stop making ridiculous excuses and go out with me, you Japanese!"

"You are very pushy, you Chinese!"

The two referees glared at each other, lighting crackling between them.

"Come on, you two." Emna decided to intervened. "Please don't fight at the goodwill games." he placed his larges hands on their heads. "Why, you two look so similar. Plus, you are fighting like a married couple." he remarked as he removed his hands. "Now smile."

They both glared at the great king. Then they pulled back their hands and attacked the larger man.

"Lord help me!"

* * *

 _Present Day_

"And that's how I got these scars." Enma said as he showed said scars to Momotaro, which was five perfect circles on one side of his chest with two more next to them.

"Those are real beauties." the ex. swordsman thought.

"Those two are an odd pair." the great king remarked as he fixed his kimono. "They often rub each other the wrong way. Mostly Hakutaku-kun with Hazuki-chan."

"You mean how he's always hitting on her."

"Exactly. Hazuki-chan is often annoyed by it. Although..." the great king leaned closer to him. "I think she secretly enjoys the attention she gets from him." he whispered.

Suddenly, the same goldfish plant ball-point pen flew past his face, impaling itself into the marble wall once again.

"What was that?" Hazuki asked scarily.

"N-Nothing!" Enma responded in fear, shaking along with Momotaro.

"I had a momentary of judgement to make such a foolish wager." the female oni said more to herself.

"What happened? Did you two end up going out on the date?" the ex. swordsman asked.

since we refused to agree who won, we never did." she replied. "But I refuse to admit defeat. I had won."

"Just let it go and date him already." Enma said.

"Never." Hazuki declared.

"Sir, you said it was a Japanese demon wearing a staff armband?" Momotaro questioned. "You should be able to determine who it was."

"That's true. We have the registration log from the event. " the great king said. "It's impolite to the individual, but we should really settle this and have you two make up." the great king said to his adviser.

"Fine."

"Okay, now call Hakutaku-kun and tell him to come and settle his bet."

Why do I have to invite him here?" Hazuki questioned.

"Because I have to look for the demon. And it would probably be better if he was here for it."

"Fine." the female oni said as she pulled out her phone. She called the Chinese beast.

"Ni hao."

"Do you want to find out the winner of our bet?"

"And have you go on a date with me? Absolutely."

"Then get your ass over here so I can see your face when we find out I won." she hung up before he could reply. 'Moron.'

* * *

 _Several hours later..._

"Me? I'm transgender, I'm completely unaltered."

Everyone stared at the demon. Hazuki and Hakutaku then looked at each other.

"The body is male, so the chest measurement is also that of a male!" she declared.

"No, this individual has the heart of a female, so I believe her to be female!" the Chinese beast disagreed.

"Very well! If you insist, go out with her!It would give me a break from dealing with your perverted ways!""

It has nothing to do with me! I like women's bodies!"

"Prove it and date her!"

"No Way!"

Emna sighed. "Why don"t you two just play rock, paper, scissors?" he said to the fighting duo.

"Very well, this will decide who's the winner." Hazuki stated. "

"Fine by me." Hakutaku said.

Rock..." she pulled back her fist.

"Paper..." he did the same.

"Scissors!"

They both held out their hands at the same time.

Hazuki held out rock while Hakutaku held out paper.

"Dammit..." the female oni cursed as fell to her knees.

"Yahoo!" the Chinese beast cheered, pumping his fist in the air.

"It looks like Hazuki-chan is going out with Hatutaku-kun." the great king said.

"It's just only one date, got that? Hazuki stated as she stood up.

Then Hakutaku picked her up bridal-style.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"I'm collecting my prize." he told her with a smug smile.

"Put me down!"

"Try not to keep her out too long." Enma told him.

"Screw you!" Hazuki yelled.

"No promises. Bye, bye!" Hakutaku said as he walked away with the pissed off female oni in his arms.

"They make a cute couple." the great king commented.

"They do?" Momotaro questioned, a bit doubtful.

They could still hear the female oni yelling at the Chinese beast.

"Where are you touching?! Do you want to lose your hand?!"

"Sorry, it slipped."

"Slipped my ass!"

"It is very soft, though."

Then a loud slapping sound was heard, making the great king and ex. swordsman to flinch.

"Ow!"

"Um, I think I'll be going now." Momotaro said.

"Yes, good work. Take care." Enma told him.

 **END**

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was a lot of fun writing it. Please leave a review, telling me what you thought of the chapter. Until next time.**


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